


Facebook One Shot

by mailroomorder



Series: Portland AU [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:39:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1260025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mailroomorder/pseuds/mailroomorder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set within Chapter Four of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1187826/chapters/2423397">Sometimes It's Just That Easy</a>, though it's really not necessary to read that first.</p><p>Blaine and Kurt are finally, and officially, boyfriends. Blaine decides to make it Facebook official, but Kurt has other plans. When Kurt doesn't immediately accept Blaine's relationship request, Blaine goes a little...crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Facebook One Shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AntarcticBird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntarcticBird/gifts).



> Rebloggable at [Tumblr](http://mailroomorder.tumblr.com/post/78360811435/facebook-one-shot)

                It has to be the first thing Blaine does when he gets home.

                After hanging out at the park, Kurt comes home and decides to get some work done. He hops onto his computer with the intention of logging onto Blackboard so he can get readings for his Sociology of Marriage class done, but really, he can never get onto the internet without first checking his email and Facebook.

                He has a few new notifications and a few new pictures Blaine took of them at the park today. He also has a relationship request.

                Kurt smiles and shakes his head fondly before exiting out of Facebook and moving onto his email.

                He _knew_ Blaine was going to do this. But it still makes butterflies float around in his stomach to know that not only does he have a boyfriend, but that said boyfriend wants to make it so the whole world can see. Everyone knows they’re dating already. And half of their friends just assume they’re boyfriends anyway. But today was extremely special to Kurt, and he doesn’t think he’s ready to post it on Facebook yet.

He wants to take the time to revel in the feeling of having a _boyfriend_. He wants to celebrate with Blaine and then with his friends. He wants to be able to call his father and say, “It’s official. Blaine’s made an honest man out of me.” He wants to hear his father’s gruff laugh as he jokes back and forth with him. He wants to casually drop the word when he’s having a conversation with Finn (“My boyfriend Blaine— _BOYFRIEND_. The guy I’m not only dating but also labeling as such. Yeah, him.). He wants to gossip about Blaine with Carole and pretend like he’s a seventeen year old boy again living back at home and talking about crushes and celebrities.

But Blaine wants to skip all of that, apparently. He wants to skip the nuance and go with the bold. Blaine’s never really been one to half-ass anything.

There’s also the fact that Kurt is so totally against putting information on Facebook. Not out of safety or fear of being Facebook stalked, but because there’s no reason for him to put his gender or his relationship status or people he’s interested in on display. He doesn’t have anything written in his “About Me” section. The people who he’s friends with on Facebook _know_ this already. He doesn’t need to remind them.

So for the meantime he leaves the request in purgatory—leaves his Facebook devoid of almost all personal information—and starts reading an article about gender roles.

It isn’t until later, after he’s completed his homework and eaten dinner, that he goes back on Facebook. When he scrolls through his home page Blaine’s updated relationship status is one of the first things that pops up.

                **Blaine Anderson is in a Relationship**

There are over forty Likes and more than thirty comments, and Kurt scrolls through them, smile getting wider and wider the more he reads.

_Tom Knapp: duuuudee. who u dating?_

_Trevor Wright: u cant date urself blaine._

_Amanda Snyde: LIAR_

_Amanda Snyde: YOU TOLD ME WE’D GET MARRIED_

_Blaine Anderson: things change, Amanda #hairflip_

_Bob PorCUPine: congrats bro!_

_Charlie Evans: i.am.so.shocked._

_Claire Bethel: No but really, Blaine. Who are you dating?_

_Chelsea Cune: txt me!_

_Blaine Anderson: @Claire: I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM DATING. FACEBOOK WON’T TELL ME_

_Charlie Evans: maybe if you ask nicely_

_Blaine Anderson: I asked Siri, she said she didn’t know_

_Mark Tropp: i can ask my siri if you want?_

_Blaine Anderson: yah can u_

_Mark Tropp: she told me to get a life…_

_Isabelle Yang: have you ever considered listening to her…._

_Mark Tropp: ISABELLE GO HOME_

_Isabelle Yang: I WILL NOT GO HOME_

_Trevor Wright: blaines so desperate to be in a relationship that he’s making it all up in his head_

_Blaine Anderson: i just want someone to love me : (_

 

Kurt can’t stop grinning when he gets to the end of the thread, and without thinking he adds his own comment.

 

_Kurt Hummel: the other day I saw him serenading his goldfish with At Last. It was disturbing_

_Don Juan Jose: goddammit blaine! I told you to stop doing that_

_Blaine Anderson: our love runs deep_

_Blaine Anderson: like a coursing river_

_Don Juan Jose: I’m starting a petition to get you kicked out of our house_

_Marcus Smith: meet me in the living room and we can all sign it together_

 

                Kurt laughs again and closes out of Facebook, grabbing his phone and shooting a text off to Blaine

                _This is fun_

                Blaine replies almost instantly.

                **The goldfish and I are happy, Kurt.**

                Next comes a picture of Blaine kissing the goldfish tank, with Puddles the fish swimming in the background.

                Kurt has to try hard not to hurl. He knows for a fact Blaine never cleans that tank.

                “I can’t believe I kiss that mouth,” he says to himself.

* * *

                Blaine never brings it up. Never asks Kurt to accept the request. Never asks Kurt _why_ he hasn’t accepted the request. They go about their lives petty normally. They hang out the next day around the city before ending up in Kurt’s dorm, making out and rolling around in his bed. It’s fun just making out, and by the time they’ve had their fill of each other’s lips, they go out and grab dinner. Kurt swipes them both into the school’s cafeteria since he has a dining plan, and after they eat they kiss goodbye and head their separate ways.

                When he goes on Facebook that night he sees Blaine uploaded a new picture status.

                _Found my boyfriend!_

                It’s a picture of him, wearing the same clothes he wore that day with Kurt, sitting on his one roommate’s lap, smiling broadly with his arms around Don’s neck.

                A few minutes later he posts a picture of him sitting on the floor pretzel style and alone, frowning.

                _Turns out that was not my boyfriend_ , his status says.

                Kurt laughs out loud.

* * *

                Monday puts Kurt and Blaine back into their normal schedules. They each have classes and Blaine has work study, and there’s really no way they can get together. But they’re used to it, so it’s really not a big deal.

                Kurt hangs out with his friend Melissa during his two hour break between classes, and they lie out on the grass and bitch about classes and talk about what they plan on doing for Spring Break.

                “Not sure yet,” Kurt responds when Melissa asks his plans. “I don’t have a ticket home. I’m hoping Blaine will want to do something.”

                “Like what?” Melissa asks.

                “I don’t know,” Kurt shrugs, hands behind his head as he scrunches his eyes from the light of the sun.

                “Like a trip or just hanging out here? Is Blaine going home?”

                “I doubt it,” Kurt replies. He assumes if Blaine went _anywhere_ it would be to Elaine’s house. “I think he’s just going to stay here and work.”

                “Well hang out, then. Have fun. Take advantage of some alone time.”

                “Ugh, that sounds good,” Kurt groans.

                He takes his phone out so he can put some music on that they can listen to, but of course before he does that he finds himself checking Facebook.

                He has a notification telling him he was tagged in a post.

                It’s another status update from Blaine.

                “Oh my god,” Kurt moans as he looks at the picture. Blaine’s standing next to a small metal trash can at his work, lifting the lid up and peering into it. The status says, _Is my boyfriend in here?_

                Charlie is the one who tagged him, in one of the comments.

                _Charlie Evans: dear god Kurt, put him out of his misery_

_Blaine Anderson: I DON’T KNOW A KURT HUMMEL OKAY_

Kurt hands the phone over to Melissa, laughing.

                “Oh my god,” Melissa smiles. “How long as he been doing this?!” She asks.

                Kurt looks over at her and sees her scrolling through the other pictures Blaine posted.

                “Not long.”

                “What’s this all about?” She asks, handing the phone back over to Kurt.

                Kurt grabs it and puts some music on while he talks, placing his phone on the grass between them.

                “We’re officially boyfriends,” he says.

                Melissa interrupts. “Weren’t you always boyfriends?”

                Kurt smirks. “Not by such a name, no. But anyway, we are officially boyfriends and he sent me a request on Facebook for it, but I didn’t respond to it. I guess this is his reaction.”

                “God, he’s so cute,” Melissa groans. “Seriously, he’s hilarious.”

                Kurt smiles and hums to the music.

* * *

                The next two days go by quickly. Kurt has an exam on Tuesday and a full load of classes on Wednesday, and he’s unable to see Blaine in person. But they Skype Monday night for an hour and text all Tuesday and Wednesday.

                “You’re having fun with this,” Kurt says on Tuesday during a phone call. There’s been a few more pictures of Blaine with other guys—friends and coworkers of his—posted to Blaine’s Facebook, where Blaine is claiming that he’s finally found his boyfriend. The most recent one is a line-up of Blaine’s friends and classmates in his Environmental Engineering Club, all standing against a white brick wall and holding up pieces of paper with a number on them.

                The status is asking that people locate which person is Blaine’s boyfriend.

                _Help me find my boyfriend in this line up. I’m beginning to get frightened! I haven’t seen him in a while._

                Kurt leaves a comment on it.

                _Pretty sure it’s number 4_

                Number four is Blaine’s professor. He’s in his forties and bald. He also used to be a semi-professional football player, and Kurt’s pretty positive that if the guy were to fall on him, Kurt would be crushed to death.

                “A little bit, yeah,” Blaine responds, and Kurt is just imagining him on the other end, blushing and grinning.

* * *

                They have their standing Date Night on Friday, but they’re able to sneak a lunch in on Thursday. Kurt meets Blaine at a bagel shop next to Blaine’s office building during Blaine’s lunch hour, and they knock knees as they eat their food.

                “Anything in particular you want to do tomorrow?” Blaine asks Kurt as he bites down on his bagel sandwich.

                “I kind of want to go out and do something.”

                “Like a party?”

                “No,” Kurt says, taking a sip of iced tea. “Like a movie or a show or something.”

                “I could look around online tonight, see if there are any theatre things going on,” Blaine suggests.

                “Yeah. That sounds good.”

                “Our _first_ proper date as boyfriends,” Blaine winks.

                Kurt laughs. “Find your boyfriend yet?” He asks.

                “Not yet. But I think he’ll come around soon.”

* * *

                The first thing Kurt sees on Facebook the next morning is a video of Blaine being really, really excited and running out of his house in his boxers and skipping up to his mailbox. He’s screaming, “He’s gonna be here! He’s gonna be here!” When he gets to the mailbox and opens it up he frowns and pouts and sticks his bottom lip out, turning to the camera and whimpering.

                “I think my boyfriend got lost in the mail,” he whines.

                Kurt rolls his eyes and decides that today is the day he is going to put Blaine out of his misery.

                He spends the morning in bed, because he was lucky enough to only get one Friday class and it’s not until one in the afternoon. On his way to class he gets a text from Blaine.

                _Got us tickets to see_ Agamemnon _tonight at University of Portland. Their theatre dept is putting it on._

**Sounds awesome!** Kurt replies

                After class he hangs out with some friends until he has to head home to get ready for the show. He and Blaine are planning on having a late night, post-show dinner at Blaine’s house before Blaine has to leave for work at eleven.

                He’s standing in his dorm after showering, looking into the mirror as he gets changed, when the idea strikes him.

                He’s wearing black slacks and a light blue button up shirt with the top button unbuttoned. His hair is a bit disheveled because he hasn’t styled it yet, and his cheeks are a bit red from the heat of the shower.

                He grabs his phone off of the table and pulls up the camera, pointing it at the mirror. He puts on his best shocked and scared face—opens his eyes as wide as they go, drops his jaw a little, and presses the shutter button.

                He posts the picture to Facebook with the status,

_Just found @Blaine’s boyfriend. He was in my mirror. Almost gave me a heart attack_ _._

   Then he accepts Blaine’s relationship request.

                That night after the play when he and Blaine are lying in Blaine’s bed making out, Blaine grabs his phone and tells Kurt to smile. He turns his face and places a wet kiss on Kurt’s cheek, and Kurt breaks out into a wide grin.

                Blaine posts that picture to Facebook immediately.

_Finally caught him_ _._

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, this was the little one shot/drabble I had mentioned in the comments of Sometimes It's Just That Easy. Alianne convinced me to go ahead an write it, and some of you other fine folks mentioned you would read it, too. Hope it lives up to your expectations.


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